Defusing Difficult Customers

You can spot them before they even open their mouths. With hunched shoulders, clenched fists and red faces, they rapidly approach your door. When they enter your waiting area, they fidget and avoid eye contact. Sure enough, these are the telltale, nonverbal signs of irritated customers, who according to one automotive shop owner, "make us (shop owners) responsible for everything that has ever gone wrong in their lives."

Even though these customers treat you like their personal dumping ground, how you treat them while they're complaining will ultimately determine the outcome of the situation. Management experts and shop owners agree that the best course of action toward resolving customer conflict is to listen, stay in control, keep emotions at bay and use positive language.

The Dissatisfied
According to management expert Dave Doremus, Doremus & Associates, Langhorne, Pa., there are a number of reasons why people become difficult. They are tired, stressed and inconvenienced, and have absolutely no time for anything, let alone car repairs. Their expectations were not met, no one will listen, the repair took too long, someone was rude, discourteous or argumentative to them, or chances are they were already upset about something totally unrelated to car repairs. "You can't control a person's behavior, but you can change your behavior to avoid causing annoyance," said Doremus.

Cherie Tucker, a management trainer and owner of Grammar Works, Seattle, Wash., refers to a recent customer satisfaction study that showed 68 percent of customers decide to no longer do business with a particular company because someone has been rude to them or they received poor service. Tucker advises shop owners to imagine every irritated customer as a "huge bag of money" and to do everything possible to try to save that person as a customer.

In addition, there are other equally important reasons to minimize difficult customer situations. These customers eat up huge amounts of staff time and resources. If angry customers are mishandled, they vent their frustration by telling others not to use your services or visit your business. Angry and difficult customers also elevate stress levels, reducing productivity and increasing sick leave.

Defusing the Situation
Doremus says customers expect to be taken seriously, treated with respect and handled immediately. They also like to clear up the problem and be listened to. Dan Meyer, Kay Parks/Dan Meyer Auto Rebuild, Tacoma, Wash., remembers only four very difficult customers in the past 15 years. His first and perhaps most important step with a difficult customer is to listen. "If it's [the problem] something within my realm, then I just take care of it. If we made a mistake, then we fix it," said Meyer. "Usually we are not talking thousands of dollars so it's not worth arguing about. It's cheaper for everyone if we just move on. Plus, difficult situations usually destroy the whole office," he said.

Doremus recommends that along with listening, shop owners really try to understand what the customer is saying. "It will help with your response," said Doremus. He also believes that a lot of conflict resolution starts with attitude. "Don't let emotions get involved. As soon as emotion gets into anything, it screws up the works," said Doremus. Once the customer has vented, he encourages shop owners to empathize with customers and get them involved in the process by using phrases such as "what would you like me to do now?" "what would make you happy?" and "what do you think is a fair way to settle this?"

"They [customers] want the problem, whatever it may be, to painlessly and politely go away. If I convince them we're going to take care of the problem, I'm a hero and they walk away very happy," said Dale Bright, Dale Bright's Auto Service, Chino, Calif. "However, at this point, I've got to be able to do whatever it is I promise," said Bright. In his many years of experience, Bright has also found that nothing takes the fire out of someone quicker than agreeing with them, if the shop is responsible for the problem.

When posing a solution, Doremus advises shops to make sure the customer is listening without any distractions. This may mean taking customers to a different area so both parties can focus.

Management experts and shop owners agree that certain words and phrases are argumentative or confrontational. According to Tucker, customers don't respond well to an explanation attributed to "company policy." Words such as "can't," "won't" and "unable to" hinder progress, as do phrases that suggest the person is not being honest. These phrases would include "you claim that," "you say that" and "you state that." Expressions that suggest carelessness ("you neglected to specify") and those that imply the recipient is not too smart ("we cannot see how you ...") should be avoided, as well as demanding phrases such as "you should" or "we must ask you to ..."

Language that promotes cooperation includes positive phrases such as "what can we do?" "I'm concerned for you" and "let's see if we can find some solution." Positive phrasing tells the recipient what can be done, suggests alternatives and choices available to the customer, sounds helpful and encouraging, and stresses positive actions and consequences that can be anticipated.

Promoting Positive Relationships
There are additional steps shop owners can take to calm the customer before they even walk in the door. If Meyer or his employees are outside, they make it a point to greet the customer before they enter the building. Once inside, all employees know to acknowledge the customer immediately, both verbally and with eye contact, and with a smile if the customer can't be helped instantly due to other customer commitments. In addition, both Meyer and Bright tout the importance of a good, solid handshake. "Shaking hands with my customers has made me more money than anything else," said Meyer.

Meyer also relies on the power of personal notes to build relationships with all of his customers. He is also involved in the local community and surrounds himself with positive-thinking people. With a base of mostly second- and third-generation customers, he sees the difficult ones as short-term problems in a long-term venture. He stresses that his success with customers is based on the business's whole program and its many components, rather than any one item.